Saturday, March 18, 2006
alright. i haven't had the time to blog in quite a while. haha. ok so i shall like do it now ( at 4 am) since i m currently a depressed and hopeless imsomniac. i can't sleep!!!! omg later still have choir and class outing. urgh dunno if i can survive the day.
ok basically life sucks now for me. i just don't really feel happy in jc. as in yeah u may see me smiling and laughing and stuff but then inside i'm just not happy. maybe this is just a transcient stage that i will soon grow out of. sigh dunno la. my schoolwork is in a whole disastrous whirligigacious mess! lots of undone stuff and stupidstupid chinese homeworks which r waywayway past their due date. oh and not forgeting the need to catch up on horrid mind boggling econs and maths lectures. bleargh. i hope after italy, i'll be able to get things more settled la.
and another things that's bothering me is this whole thing abt frens. ya i was kinda super depressed over the whole tragic story of 06A13, and i am still currently floating in the state of semi-depression here. ya but whats really gets me down is the fact that i feel that i'm drifting away from my old frens. cos we r in different schools and everything, and basically we all lead different lives now. so its kinda hard to expect things to be the same. i dont blame any of u. maybe i should just blame myself for not doing enough. but i just want to say one thing, no matter where the paths in life lead us, i'll always always remember all of u. and nothing can ever happen to change how much each of u mean to me. i dunno how but often i spent most of my waking hours wondering how all of u r doing and stuff, and yet i'm hesitant to pick up the phone to call cos i'm afraid i'll be rejected cos u r all too busy. ( and none of u might even be reading this) so instead of having someone to call and talk to everyday, i now spend most of my stupid life shuffling from school, choir and then home. its like my house is some kind of hotel where i only come home to eat and sleep. and i m basically MARRIED to choir. i'm not complaining or anything, but i really do love choir! oh and i want to watch so many movies but then everyone seems to be to busy or they're going out with their new frens now. sigh wadeva. maybe its time for me to let go of the past and look towards the future, but really, what the future holds is nothing compared to the past which holds my precious memories.
i would give anything just to experience the past. i know most people say its really silly living in the past, but i don't give a damn about most people. the only thing good abt my life now is my wonderful class and perhaps some of the people in choir.
to all my bestest friends: i miss all of u lots!
bring me back to the past.
