~:.:Castle on a Cloud™:.:~

2007-11-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

and after so long, i think it'll be lost forever.
irrecoverable.
hope, a little wistful and a little dejected.
perhaps at last.
i will accept this mutability.

2007-11-12T19:16:00.000+08:00

i hereby declare myself emotionally retarded.

2007-11-04T22:20:00.000+08:00

hello world. i just realised something. thanks to little miss clarity who wonderfully updated me on the going ons in her world. yes. ok I"M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE. and at such a life altering stage, its amazing yet dreadfully appalling that i'm not doing what i'm supposed to do. oh yes like selling myself to books and notes and crap. instead i am imbibing copious amounts of food(NOTE: unhealthy) and entertaining simply evil thoughts of slacking and even more food. right.yes in fact i have already planned my breakfast for tmr, which shall be macdonalds. oh ho ho. and talking about food. yes.my mum actually smsed me, when i was studying two days ago, to buy another packet of chips because she and my brother ate it out of boredom.amazing. well ok i'm off to permutate and combine things and look forward to another day of studying. urgh.

2007-10-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

i did something fun today. i drank an entire can of coke and burped ultra loudly in front of a whole ultra long line of old uncles and auntys buying 4D. and then i just burst out laughing. priceless moment.

well ok i totally hate studying cold war. i like love origins and extension but NO not the end. it sucks. so many treaties and so many summits and names and blah. and i've been studying that shiate for like a week and it just cannot go in. pls pls pls end don't come out.

sigh two more days and everything boils down to these two years. didn't feel like this two years ago. sigh. oh well

things have changed. and i really like the original ending although it makes me sad.not sad sad but wistful sad.

ok goodbye.its one am, and we all love the original ending, don't we?

2007-10-05T19:52:00.001+08:00

So throw me a rope
To hold me in place
Show me a clock
For counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

2007-09-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

take a falling star
and put it in your pocket
never let it fade away

you know i won't

2007-08-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

Love and Friendship

Love is like the wild rose-briar;
Friendship like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?

The wild rose-briar is sweet in spring,
Its summer blossoms scent the air;
Yet wait till winter comes again,
And who will call the wild-briar fair?

Then, scorn the silly rose-wreath now,
And deck thee with the holly's sheen,
That, when December blights thy brow,
He still may leave thy garland green.

Emily Bronte

2007-08-28T12:25:00.000+08:00

something tells me i'm delusional when all i can think about is like long over. seriously. instead of studying on a wonderful tuesday morning i went to listen to sov songs and i sang along.so the ipod goes on shuffle and before i know it its the end of one concert. sigh maybe its just me, or maybe its the weather. but i think i'm growing up too fast. oh yes i am. i felt like calling someone to talk but oh i guess not.so here i am typing this shiatxz online. pause you now who read this and say to yourself kenny is such a sad person. why does he only have you, you, you and you to speak to. NOTE: you you you and you refers to four people mind you. so happens that you you you and you are all uncontactable throughout this wonderfully grey morning or are inconvenient to talk, so i shall just talk to my notes and sean o'casey.

byebye have a nice day. kenny hates the drilling man who is drilling something in his house above kenny's study room.

2007-08-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

today was a sad day studying all alone by myself at my little wonderful unchartered studying location. ok so i was feeling this desperate call of nature and i couldn't leave my things unattended could i? so, i traipsed over to the toilet and to my utter disgust and horror there was a used syringe with wrapper floating evilly in the white porcelain bowl of human excesses(but there wasn't any excesses in it or else it would have been a more gruesome sight). gross. i so totally evacuated the toilet in case there was some psycho killer or some psycho drug taker lurking around the toilet waiting for some unsuspecting victim.shivers. but oh well that shall not deter me from studying there. i shall just thirst and hunger before studying so that i won't have to use that toilet ever again. oh my.

ok i shall go ponder over what mr ho said about loss in lit just now.sigh.

goodbye world.

2007-08-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

"two forces are working through her mind"

yes like mary, there are two forces working through my mind right now.

but don't worry you know. i'm walking out of it soon.

its just another cliffhanger, another twist in this story.

2007-08-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

On the side of me

By Corrinne May

I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me

I'm not too proud of some things
I've done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Blessed Charity
You're on the side of me
on the side of me

'Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
but you

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth

'Cause you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You're on the side of me
on the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
but you

Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

2007-08-07T22:53:00.000+08:00

And I will walk with you on a summers,
And I will talk to you,
Though you're faraway,
And we'll sing through the years,
Are you over those hills,
Do you still hum the old melodies,
Do you wish people listened,
Over here with me

2007-07-29T19:48:00.000+08:00

One request
I want you to take me with you

2007-07-09T22:58:00.000+08:00

we haven't gone anywhere.
but i'm finally going.

goodbye.

2007-07-08T00:07:00.000+08:00

right so its on to part 2 of kenny's decadent lifestyle. it is oh-so-sinful because as i type this with one finger, a nice little ice cream cone sits in my chubby left hand courtesy of mummy who worries ever so much about her poor(fat) boy not getting enough nutrition. plus, it is 12am. now, as all good children know, we shouldn't snack on sweet stuff just before bed. it goes straight to your belly.right and that was the second cone this evening:) yes, and i should keep referring to myself as a third person, as preparation for writing out some stupid top 3 achievement crap due on monday, which Kenny will gladly do tmr because he is tired and wonky.

2007-07-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

my my my. i have so been leading THE decadent life after commontests. not looking forward to getting back results though. especially maths which was like a horribly familiar re-enactment of last years mid years. oops. i had trouble with partial fractions even. so kenny is so so so dead for maths. not to mention the idiotic 4.3 mistake. grrrrr.

right so on to my decadent lifestyle. i ate enough to feed myself for two whole days, maybe three. dinner last night with green and nick. it was so fun. we started singing carols in lerkthai and ordered super cheapo two dollar pineapple rice.and we started poking the pineapple husk to see if it was like recycled and washed. and people were staring at us. probably because of the amount of food on the table. hello, world! quit staring cos we're in to stress eating. not that the two of them have much stress:)ok so after that we went to like some place and sat down and carolled somemore. carolling makes me happy, and a lil sad altogether.ok right so today it was on to more eating as well. oh and i got a new phone yesterday. like finally. yes and finally i get to sit around the house and ponder instead of like mugging. doing nothing is really fun. just sit there and start stoning.

oh well choir tmr and its only 12 days left to pattaya. i just realised today.

2007-06-22T00:40:00.000+08:00

watching thriller shows on tv are not good for your sanity. especially during study times.
i was so afraid someone would just hop out of nowhere and lob off my head with some machete.(think SCREAM/freak guy in white long mouth mask))
oh my. i stood as close to the road as possible because at 1130 pm in bishan there's seriously no one on the roads.
so in case psychokiller decides to get me i can run onto the road and get help. smart me. ok so psychokiller didn't appear and i reached my safe home by turning around just a FEW times to make sure after i got off the bus.

oh and did i mention my PPC is collapsing and contracting. which means my productive capacity is diminishing. bad bad.
did stupid religious fundamentalism today and its quite weird. ok correction,very weird. number one, the christian fundamentalists bombed abortion clinics and killed the gynaecologist inside and the assisstant. talk about respecting the sanctity of life. totally ironical. its stupid people like them that do stupid things and make poor history students like me study such stupid examples. it doesn't even make sense. we should all stab fundamentalists.

ok at least today i destressed by doing loads of stress eating. i love my cereal. and thanks to lizard bian who totally made me laugh when i was watching him play dota on my com. absolutely HILARIOUS. everytime someone died i laughed nonstop. i think studying sucks, cos it makes u sadistic.

ok i'm off to bed now to dream about my cereal which i will gorge on tml morning:)

2007-06-02T00:11:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder how many people in this picture i've lost along the way.
i wonder how they're doing
and those not in it as well.

special moments.
i still remember those lines by heart.

2007-06-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

want you to know you make me happy.
want you to know you make me sad.
you are the best thing that i ever had.

just some lyrics i think are damn nice. doesn't refer to anyone in particular:)

2007-05-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

maybe we'll never walk on those cobblestone alleys again.

2007-05-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

inside, i know its gone forever.

2007-05-16T17:55:00.000+08:00

sov is finally over. and that's like the penultimate milestone for the year twos alr and the final one for those not going for pattaya. sigh. life feels weird without choir. seriously. i gave myself a full day off today and i was just lying around in bed thinking about choir, and i just had that sudden urge to go for choir practice or to just see choir people while walking around school. i think its all the hard work, sweat, tears, laughter and the experiences that we have shared that makes leaving impossible because we have put so much of ourselves into vjchoir. i totally cannot wait for choir this saturday. i want to sing my life away. i want to sing again and again with vjchoir. sigh. depressing when u think about it too much.

vjchoir is the love. sops are the love too,absolutely. and to a certain someone, i am very pissed with your frequent labelling of sops as bimbo and dumb or whatever. because it is unfair and it is a mere genrealisation. seriously. go get a life. and btw, if u haven't realised i AM a sop and i love being a sop, so if u think we are bimbotic then stop associating with me ok. bitch. you're just jealous cos u used to be a sop. you know who you are and i don't wish to have to scream it IN YOUR FACE. so there. u can read this and have it IN YOUR EYES and hopefully you process IN YOUR BRAIN( which you should have since u always say sops don't). there's so much a person can take and that's all i'm willing to put up with.

anyway i'm really glad that the year three sops came back yesterday for sov. it was like the old times again!!!time really flies and it seems like yesterday when i first became a member of vjchoir. i remember the anxiety of all those auditions i had to go through. i remember our first sectionals learning 3 songs at one go. i remember mixing peien up with isabelle. and now in one year's time isabelle is already the new sl. i remember italy. i remember steph farting in her sleep haha. i remember all the late night sop EVALUATION sessions.i remember linking arms and walking through the cold. eating gelato non stop. and of course the standing ovation( oh my, which happened again yesterday at sov!!!!!!!!) :) big suprise because singaporeans just DO NOT give standing ovations easily.)i remember the musical days. my birthday at dawns house(thank you people! it really means a lot to me!)CAROLING ALSO! i remember rushing to and fro between ritz and raffles. sigh. its all coming back to me now. i remember waiting and praying so so hard when they were announcing results for syf.i remember the pride standing on stage as vjchoir.nomanisanisland.

generatio praeterit:)

i miss everything.

2007-05-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

don't feel like walking strong,
shufflin' along on my way home.
trudgin' down that shopping street,
where we used to meet.
but i ain't buying.
i'm wearing my blue shoes and crying

2007-04-26T20:48:00.000+08:00

Tears, idle tears,
I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy autumn fields,
And thinking, thinking of the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns,
The earliest pipe of half awakened birds to dying ears,
When unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimm'ring square;
So sad, so strange the days that are no more.

Dear as remember'd kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others;
Deep as love, deep as first love,
And wild with all regret:
Wild with all regret;
Oh Death in Life, oh Death in Life,
The days that are no more!
Oh Death in Life,
The days that are no more!

Alfred Lord Tennyson

2007-04-24T15:54:00.000+08:00

today is a good happy day!!!whee. haha cos there was rain! oh how i love the rain! ok anyway lessons ended early cos mr harris wasn't here and so i'm like home super early, like once in a blue moon. ok wait erm i mean a veryveryvery BLUE moon. whahahaha. ok anyway i'm like super high now. hahahha. oh my and i'm totally psyched about tonight !!!!! PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, HERE I COME! and i am so dead for econs test which i havent exactly studied for and considering that tml is choiring day i can so kiss my studying time goodbye. whatever, there are better things in life to look forward to like music! omg phantom. gasps convulses faints and dies! i think i am so totally going to scream when the chandelier falls, or maybe gasp a little to add a lil' dramatic effect. hahahahhaha.

anyway on a side note. i'm really really happy that cat high choir got gold with honours for syf! omg i'm so proud of you guys. if any of you happen to read this. omg it was a job well done. when i was sitting down there i felt so proud of you! way to go!

this good boy here has his econs notes to tend to now :)

2007-04-20T23:39:00.000+08:00

constant inconstancies.
absolutely oxymoronic.

you had my hopes up. but not for long.

2007-04-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

i hate myself.

2007-04-01T07:11:00.000+08:00

i just want to go down the deep end.

2007-03-28T23:24:00.000+08:00

a thousand times over.

i've been dreaming a lot lately.

2007-03-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

i miss you, old friend.

2007-03-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

they ask, "why don't you two talk everyday like you used to?"
he said,"i don't know."

2007-03-19T03:36:00.000+08:00

i totally can't sleep ok. its freakin like 3 plus in the morning and i'm like some owl! haha actually i haven't had a good sleep for like weeks. sigh i guess i just have too many things on my mind.

ok oh well on a sidenote, i went to watch music and lyrics and the show was so touching. i had this total cardial heartwrenchy feeling at the last part. and cora is a total b ok. shanti shanti! lol. me and philip were like totally lol at the dialogue and the chracters la hahaha. i love drew barrymore(hairy whore) hahaha. ok thats another totally lol story on horny night! BITSY YOU SHOULD HAVE TOTALLY JOINED US FOR THE MOVIE CAN!(ok i know you don't read this but whatever!) anyway after the movie i saw someone whom i shouldn't have seen and that totally ruined my day i swear.

oh yes and how i can i ever not mention this!!

SOPS GOT THIRD FOR HORNY NIGHT!!!! YAY WOOHOO!
yes now we have given up our sustained achievement award to the altos hahahaha. big thanks to the yr 3 sops who came back and voted for us.big thanks also to the wonderful sops, esp debbie and sherwin!!!!!!!!!!!!! we made it happen!!!!!!! and i think altos were damn good too. with mega, faith and like the totally zomg incestuous family. tenors was like again a total jeremy gan script. basses were super funny. omgomg stupid la their angels even their names were damn funny like juicy liu, drew hairy whore and cumontheass. totally stupid and horny ok. must be the year two evil minded people like oliver and yizha who came up with such a horny script.

yea and so today me and yizha were saying like how next year there'll be like no more sov no more horny night. blahblahblah. sigh the thought of it makes me sad. nomanisanlisland :) ahaha and during bags today we were like omg i don't mind having choir everyday ahaha like we're all so addicted to choir. like even though we're not perfect yet but we still work hard. and somehow we'll learn to love all the warmups and the endless, i repeat ENDLESS, repetitions of the song for like first two pages. gosh. haha. ok bottomline is i love choir no matter what. yay!

ok gtg sleep. its 5am now. hahaha.

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

:)

2007-03-04T03:45:00.000+08:00

do you really no longer care about the past?
i do. i wish i could tell you.
somehow someway i knew it would turn out like this.
do not question my cliarvoyance.

2007-02-17T14:12:00.000+08:00

3am

wake up,kenny

2007-02-04T21:04:00.000+08:00

so today was spent bitching over lunch with greenie, silverie and isa at crystal jade. omg i wasn't really bitching la cos of my totally disgusting tonsilitis infection. the number of pills i have to pop is unimaginable. the doctor was like do you smoke?(after pressing my tongue down with some ice cream stick and shining a torch into it). i was like er....no hello do i look like i smoke? gosh smokers are so stupid. they're filling their lungs with tar. seriously, they should just go lick it off the roads cos its a whole lot cheaper than some stupid box of cigarettes.( annd i think those stupid pictures they print on the box doesnt actually help to deter people. ) yea ok so anyway the doctor tells my mum to take a look at the ulcers and infection crap on my tonsils and shes goes....omg it looks like hand foot and mouth disease. GOSH! haha. but i'm not really complaining. i get to skip pe. sigh but i dont get to sing and go for choir...seriously i think i have a very weak voice. it always fails me and i always fall sick. the last time was like in malacca which was not to long ago.

ok anyway i was at orchard today with greenie and waiting for isa and silverie and then this woman walked past us and she was singing totally loudly: " I see your true colours shining through...." then i was like laughing but i couldnt make any sound cos of the stupid tonsils.

and byebye. cos i need to finish up my long overdue gp compre.

see ya.

circles. no beginning nor an ending. such beauty.

2007-01-26T22:05:00.000+08:00

kenny is such a fucking hypocrite. seriously. i'm going to be a utter bitch to people i absolutely hate. well of course it'll be well crafted and hidden behind nice reassuring smiles. don't worry you'll never know. i might be hating you this instant. go stuff yr hollow head now. you are a slut! stop pretending to be so nice and goody and cutesy when you are absolutely not and in actual fact the spring of your face is the engend'ring of toads. since you are hypocritical to so many people don't blame me for being a bigger bitch.

if you think you fit into the above descrpition, come tell me and i'll swear into your face. effing lusty widow.

2007-01-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

this is so funny. i like how i die screaming and in an art musuem. so true.

2007-01-16T19:40:00.000+08:00

the year has just started and i'm already up to my neck in homework, readings, essays and such. gosh. busy year ahead. sigh there's going to be choir also. not that i'm complaining cause you get to sing nice songs like o magnum mysterium. omg i can just die singing that song ok cos its like uber super ultimately nice. choir is really really different now without the year twos. i miss all of them terribly especially the sops. omg just like on monday i was telling isa how weird it was without them and then i was on the verge of crying again. not that i didnt bawl my eyes out at farewell haha but i guess i just miss them soooo much. oh and i saw marie at kc bustop today cos i was passing by on 55. haha and we communicated through sign language. hahaha. like i told her i was going to voice lesson and then i ended off with "she suppleness"!!!!! haha no link.yeap anyway srry to be bitchy but me and isa were laughing like mad during choir cos there's something amusing(DUH!) ok so if YOU want to know ask me secretly and i shall divulge thy secrets to you. ok anyway i'm really glad that my class got really good teachers like sayers and james ho. omg i feel safe and in good hands. like finally!!!! i've understood and learnt something in lit! like major wow-ness! transport me to lit nirvana please. thank you very much. i was a student embalmed in the fog of ignorance. oops lol. ok so now i'm off to do my freakin maths tutorial. urgh.

And I'll do what's right;
Just give me till then
To give up this fight.
And I will give up this fight.

i can't stay sad forever because of you.

2007-01-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

i don't know what's wrong with me nowadays. today i dunno but on the way back home from voice lesson i was so pissed. seriously. like i was on the verge of exploding. i need to like stop letting my feelings and people take control of me and my sanity. thank you very much. bleagh. this sucks. i don't even know what i'm feeling.

2007-01-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

i'm still trying to forget. over and out.

2007-01-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

ok the party over at dawn's house was a blast. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUT! ok so at like 12 midnight we opened up the windows and started singing joy to the world and waving to random blurry eyed people who came to their windows ahaha. and then it was the night walk which we planned for yut. i ended up getting scared instead. sheesh. ok and then we tlaked until 5 or 6 in a huge circle about our new year resolutions and stuff and first impressions. later the sleepy people went to sleep and left me zha wanting may dawn(semi concious) and jialing and charlotte the XXXXXXXXXXXXX pornstar, and we continued talking. this was when the official bitching began omg. hahaha. i finally went to sleep fr like 20 mins at like 8 and then woke up and bitched again. then fell asleep at like 10 and woke up at 11 to go home. super tired!!!!

anyway my new year resolutions are:1) to lose weight 2) be more hardworking and conscientious in my work 3) be more tolerant of people 4) hate all the bitches and sluts in my life 5) mantain a good relationship with my parents 6) be a better singer 7) be nicer to nice people even though i'm already SO nice. the rest i can't think anymore whatever. points 3 and 4 contradict but who cares. RULE NO.1: THE BITCH makes the rules. so if i hate you too bad. sue me.

reflecting on the past year i'm really thankful that i got into vjc. met wonderful seniors(SOPSIES) and wonderful friends and choir people and classmates(selected few) oops. sue me again if you want.whatever. i'm thankful for the close friends that i have and my best friends. thank you for all these years.

i'm also really glad that i dislike someone so much i wish i could just erase everything and anything to do with that person. call me a bitch whatever. i don't care. well but i actually do care about keeping up civil appearances so I'll actually like say hi to you whenever i see you or whatever. but don't forget there will always be that eye roll or sick retching feeling inside of me when you're not looking. call me a two faced bitch or whatever ok.

sorry for this bitchy post and happy new year.

2006-12-29T00:24:00.000+08:00

ever received one of those childish but meaningful chain letter thingamajigs in your mail about friendship with its over exaggerated and romanticised stuff. ok well, you know there's this part which goes like: you maybe best friends one year, close friends the next, not-so-close-friends the next and until you don't even talk to each other.

well, I'd say there's truth in that.

2006-12-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

went for some nobel prize exhibition at nus today. omg its freaking cool. cos u get like 2.2 million ok! omg imagine what i'll do with that kind of money! wahahhaa. ok anyway i'm super insipred to win the nobel prize now ahhaa. the literature or world peace one. haha not the medicine or chem or physics one. so out of my league pls.

anyway this year has been a really short year. omg i can't imagine growing up so fast. i have so many things that i need to do by this year. like reading the whole pile of time magazines and STARTING on homework. gosh. someone help me. plus next year is going to be one hell of a year. i don't know how i'll survive that.

wish me luck:)

2006-12-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

ok its another rainy day. haha rainy days are good for sleeping in. on normal days i wake up at like 8 but today i woke up at 12! haha catching up on lost sleep!

anyway yesterday had a small gathering/early christmas dinner at rayston's house. complete with a totally sumptious dinner and gift xchange!!!!!! anyway we played this game called monster crunch which was created by the original parker brothers. think monopoly. anyway monster crunch is really really fun. its a four player game and u take these sticks with suction pads at the end to whack cards with monsters printed on them. omg it was total madness ok cos phil drew rayston and me were like omg omg and then scream scream scream!!!!!!! haha omg super fun ok. ok well it doesnt really illustrate my point but monster crunch rocks but sadly its out of production. and the set that we played with was older than us cos serene had it when she was a kid la. which is god knows how many years ago :) OH MY SHES TOTALLY OLDER THAN HATSUMOMO!!!!! tyotchy!

oh and cheapo serene koped the cookies that hatsumomo baked which were absolutely gorgeous not to mention delicious. yup and then we went for a car ride courtesy of serene ahahah. sigh somehow didnt have much to say so i was rather silent sitting at the back. sigh. i dunno why but i just ran out of things to say ahaha. sigh ok well. its a rather rambly post. well tis time for decorating! see ya!

2006-12-08T11:19:00.000+08:00

heyheyhey! i'm back from malacca already. it was so sad cos i couldn't sing at all for the first two days. only managed pathetic squeaks here and there. ok anyway the whole worskshop was quite good. i think we learnt quite a bit from the clinicians haha. had lots of fun "evaluation" sessions with the whore and the slut. haha. god, i am such bitch! thank u dear roomies for such a nice time in malacca.

a hey hey bro d'armor :) you're such a slut.

omg and did i mention the food was whorrible and totally unplatable. omg eww. the fried rice=fried sand. toally disgusting. ok anyway did a fair bit of shopping la. but just not enough time. oh and got to know people a lot pbetter through the trip. haha.

oh yes and the musical we had was a blast haha. mr kwei even mentioned it in malacca haha. i think everything went well and all our hard work and effort finally paid off. and i think everyone enjoyed it.

and its like now after malacca and the musical, i have to start studying. but i can't seem to get down to it. ahhhhhhh!!!!!! oh well, there's still carolling yay!!!!!

can't wait for choir on monday haha. can't seem to get enough of the choir people. can u imagine seeing all of them so frequently haha. going to miss them over the weekend haha. oh and i dunno leh i have this sudden really weird urge to go ikea to look at things and eat swedish meatballs. ok random. goodbye peple, i'm off to gossip on the phone now. hahhaah

2006-11-30T16:47:00.000+08:00

hello dear ardent readers of this fantabulous blog!!! i'm back after a hiatus of extreme laziness, and of course one of the rare days that i'm actually at home ahah. ok anyway this friday's the musical and to those who are not going....SHAME ON YOU! we had a technical and full run yesterday and it was like omg the real thing. i think everyone was into it and basically it was as if yesterday was the day of the real musical itself. everyone was like hurrying around, changing, carrying stuff in between scenes and stuff.

oh and a big thanks and lots of hugs goes out to those people who remembered my birthday. thank u ahaha. u guys made me fat and lardy. thanks for the slutty shirt, wallet and tea mug thingy from xy. thanks esp to the people who cooked for me!!!!!yay. i'm really really touched. cos i dont have homecooked food. in my house, we call it home-microwaved food. ahhah. and thanks for taking time to spend my birthday with me. i love all of u manymany! year two sops!! olihway. stupid sao bao yizha. yut. baba ganoush. may. dong xi. the 3 year zeros. shuwei. huping.johnnie. sx. and alot of people. srry if i cant remember

ok right now i need to go and pass tickets to people for the musical tml! haha

2006-11-04T07:34:00.000+08:00

somethings are just not worth it anymore. period.

2006-10-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All the faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems too far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
till these rainy days that make them stay
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they'll ever go away
Just like tihnking of your childhood home
But we cant go back, we're on our own

2006-10-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

i hate pw and op and chinese A levels. chinese is the worst subject ever. period. life is amazingly boring now ok. but i don't want this year to end. its too fast. i'm not growing up. i can't imagine rushing everything over and over again next year. i'm not ready. life is so cruel sometimes huh . it takes friends and people away from you. we can't have the past back.

spent today bumming around slayer of emo scum's house doing PW. ok i wasn't doing. but there to lend my presence haha. miss stick thin(who adamantly refutes this title which has been honourably bestowed on her) was doing all the IT stuff while i just assumed sluggish contortions on the floor and on slayer of emo scum's pillowy sofa. yup and sorry bryan because i accidentally blurted out something. pls dont be angry. knowing too much gossips can be a bad thing you know. stupid me can't shut up. bad. bleargh. ohoh! and we ordered pizza hahah. fatfatfat.

oh and we basically scandalized everyone in class. haha it was weird. one particular one was so horrendous i released a scream of absolute horror. haha damn funny.

yes and its like 2.40am now because I can't sleep. well goodbye.

with that one message
I saw everything falling into place
I knew where things were heading
shielded myself with silence
and I watched it fall apart

superfiality can be so amazing
we shall see next year then.

2006-10-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

self denial. these lies I tell myself just serve to keep me ensconced in my little world.
sometimes I really can't figure so many things out now. maybe its my fault. my inner vulnerablility. but I shall pretend I don't know, I don't see and I don't hurt. what I don't know won't hurt me. yes. pretences, facades, veneers. they're everywhere aren't they?

you'll never guess the last thought on my mind before I sleep.

and i wish things could be the same again. until then I'll be waiting.
wishful wishful thinking.

on a blank piece of paper
i see myself sliding down a rainbow.
my own rainbow of make-belief happiness.

2006-10-10T11:22:00.000+08:00

ok promos are finally over. but i'm super bored. someone ask me out pls! sigh. super boring ok. only stay at home and eat and sleep and cultivate an evil oil field of blubberous blobby fats underneath my tummy. fat fat fat, not a good sight. all hail thunder thighs! ok byebye. shall go call people up and bug them to go out. ahha. which reminds me i haven't watched a movie in a long long time....

2006-10-04T15:38:00.000+08:00

omg can't wait for tml. stupid maths will be over. hope the questions are doable. i really really hate graphing techniques! they suck big time. haha. anyway i can't believe the whole week is like passing so fast! thats a good thing ok cos the last time i remember what reality was like was like last week and i was telling myself....ok two days more to econs paper. and now i am magically at this point in time where i am supposed to be studying maths ahhha.

and to think just yesterday i was talking to wansees abt time travelling...hahah

and i'm so going to heck care chinese. urgh. the thought of writing zuo wen horrifies me. ew ew ew. my sentence structuring and whatever is like crap. theres like super no nice phrase or whatever anywhere in my zuo wens ok. its like some pseudo-primary school work in super big chinese characters.

oh and btw i totally uncovered juicy details about someone( or someTHING rather) i really hate/destest/abhor. and who has been featured in one of the previous posts before this. its so scandalous you'll die listening and you will squeal with such absolute sordidness due to its extreme promiscuity and revel in the ecstacy of the "oh-my-did-she-really-do-such-a-thing" shock. i can't post it here because the computer screen might just possibly just go up in flames( yes. cos she totally deserves to burn in hell forever) and so, if you, yes you, staring at the screen now, wishes to uncover this wonderful piece of tantalising gossip. pls feel free to contact me surrepticiously and i will divulge thy knowledge of this horrendous happening to your vouchsafed ear. well of course, you could, should and would obviously go around telling everyone. not spreading it will be akin to social suicide. duh.

god, i am such a bitch. oops. too bad i hate you THIS much.

2006-10-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

omg i so freaking hate lit. i dunno anything about great ex ok. stupid. oh well. i hope tml the question is crappable. sigh really cannot wait till promos are over.

here i am 16 hours away from doing the stupid lit paper with both texts not completed. talk about double trouble....sigh. sososo dead. i think i am just going to convulse and die after lit paper tomorrow. urgh. not a nice thought. shoo shoo shoo evilevil lit paper get yourself over and done with.

oh woe betide me!

2006-10-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

me and my econs notes. totally married to them. so gonna divorce them after promos :)
boo! i am silly.

2006-09-30T04:38:00.000+08:00

hello dear people!I can't sleep. sigh. i haven't had coffee yet i'm still super duper wide awake. spent two hours tossing turning and fliping around like mad ok. but still cannot sleep. SUPER STRESSED! i just ate chocolate ice cream.i know...... like damn weird right? who the hell eats ice cream at 4 am right?!

i hate promos. esp history and lit. i hate great ex the most. it is the big sucks. BOO.

sigh i have a craving for MacDonalds. shall drag bryan and aaron out for macs breakfast tml. oh wait i mean later.

ok i shall go back to my horridly disgusting history notes on evil old men who do dumb things like threatening each other with missiles and spend lots of money making more and then discussing treaties to reduce them. retarded.i mean if u got so much money just ship it by the truckload to the third world countries or something. a complete waste of finances investing in something you won't use . seriously communism is so evil it shouldnt exist. stupid evilevilevil karl marx and his psychotic ideology that made so many history students suffer. without him we have no ussr to begin with and the world will be a happier place. at least we dont have to spend 70 minutes of our perfectly wonderful wednesday afternoons every week cooped up in a urea-scented gas chamber of sorts. whatever.

so you see, a lack of sleep makes you wonky.

2006-09-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

omg i so officially hate you. bloody fuckress. stop messing up my life and those around you. you are not freakin great so shut up. i love you to BITS. literally. omg please freaking save the whole world by getting yourself an std( totally going to complete your image)! whore! harlot! vamp!bitch! venereal disease-inflicted vixen. nothing i say can put yr whorrible-ness into words i swear. congrats you are right at the top of my hate list of eternal damnation, thats a bloody great achievement cos no one EVER makes it to the list. you, fortunately are one of the few fucking lucky bitches. and in case i come across as crude,vulgar and revoltingly unrefined and distasteful LIKE YOU, in reality i am not cos i am veryveryvery angry and pissed now.and by the way, you are effing low class ok have some self dignity at least. EW. bigbigbig EW. to hell with you. may u burn forever.

i swear, i'd love to see you die.

2006-09-04T04:24:00.000+08:00

can't sleep.
back to my 4am-waking habits
sigh.

it just seems so long ago.

2006-08-26T22:46:00.002+08:00

you said things would never change.
irreversible.
will you return?
one day, I hope
for now its down to building cardboard castles.
love me, love me not.
that's reality.
my backward glances
let me cease to exist.
the brokenhearted people.

2006-08-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

nice line.

2006-08-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

christmas carols make me happy.

after such a long time.

2006-08-20T00:50:00.000+08:00

a full circle.

tomorrow.

let it be.

every place i go i think of you.

2006-08-18T17:58:00.000+08:00

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?

goodbye to you.

2006-08-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star.

this sums it up for me.

2006-08-10T07:40:00.000+08:00

i am so tired.

everything just seems so long ago.

i guess it's really hard to forget.

2006-08-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

ever thought that people could drift apart, when they shared that special bond, that silent understanding. oh, but reality is cruel. to choose to drown in the sea of self denial, knowing full well the barrier is still there. maybe one day i'll just be another stranger in the streets. the truth is I don't know you anymore.

the art of losing isn't hard to master. and i've lost you. i don't think there are constants anymore. sigh.

its so hard to make it in this part of time. to get through it all.

and the multitudes of facades. you never really know. do you?

2006-08-06T01:10:00.000+08:00

how can so much mean so little.

2006-08-05T19:44:00.000+08:00

compassion and cruelty can live side by side in the same heart.

2006-08-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

you probably need me no more.

2006-08-03T14:33:00.000+08:00

i love VJchoir. every single one of you.
nomanisanisland.

2006-07-29T10:11:00.000+08:00

exhausted.

everyday a little sadness.

2006-07-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

i am content with being second best.

2006-07-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

i'll never get over you by hiding this way.

2006-07-23T08:51:00.000+08:00

i am so tired from all the choir practises!!!!!!!!! sigh. i slept late too cos firstly i came home at like 1130? yep. but i couldn't sleep well cos i was basically just evaluating my life and like everything la. ok whatever.no one bothers anyway. ok its off to starbucks now for me to study and get my coffee fix :)

now we all lead separate lives.

2006-07-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

you were going, now you're gone.

i'm left alone.

turning back clocks.

we need to remember what used to be good.

let's take a walk.

2006-07-19T19:24:00.000+08:00

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears.

2006-07-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

imagine me without you.

then again, its no longer an imagination

its reality

2006-07-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

somedays i wish i could sleep forever
somedays i wish i could runaway to my sanctuary among the clouds

somedays i wonder about the purpose of humanity
somedays i wonder about human superficiality
somedays i wonder about what i have done wrong

somedays i cry.

somedays like today.

2006-07-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

the last notes.

lose something everyday.

these words, in heart and in spirit-

i wish you knew.

2006-07-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

went to sentosa today!!!!it was super fun haha. tanning and frisbeeing. ok not really tanning cos i can't keep tans. i m now currently lobster red and soon i will start moulting and go back to white. urgh ok not nice. we attempted to play the never-ever-have-i-ever game which was a total failure which ended with like 2 questions( based largely on nolsi)? wth. yup and double shot espresso mized with jia jia liangteh is actually nice. ew i know. its weird but nice tasting nonetheless haha.

sigh tml got school again and choir. ok choir is fun but school is so not! have pw which is comepletely horrid cos my group is lik dead. yup and tuesday is like worst day of the week cos of lit. urgh ok. on the other hand i'm looking forward to school cos i get to see my frens especially the class and all the choir people. yup. this reminds me...was talking to nolsi in the cab home and we both gushed about how much we love veejay cos it totally rocks. like the whole school spirit thing and sense of belonging like when u walk into vj its like you get this this-is-home kind of feeling. and especially when like everywhere u go u wanna tell everyone that u r a VICTORIAN! yeah.

kenny hearts vj.kenny hearts 06a13.kenny hearts vjchoir. kenny hearts xy aaron and bryan.
kenny hearts all the special people who make life so much easier.

with love.

2006-07-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

omg midyrs are over!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!! but chinese oral was the sucks cans. damn shitty la. i promise never to ever speak horrible horrible chinese again. urgh. i was like really really stoned during oral. the male examiner was like frowning at me while the woman was just like nodding herhead like noddy in toyland. ok whatever. i was like er.....*insert a eyes looking around and frantic look*................ and totally shocked and like freaked out basically. it was crappy. sigh ok whatever at least i got it over and done with. chinese is the bane of my existence.oh maybe maths too. omg my class just rocks can, we can so totally be crazy mad revolutionaries la! 7 people walked out of the horridly ridiculously hard maths paper. maths was psychotic. bah. well at least after that got to meet up with xy for dinner at fish and co! yumyum

yep and had choir today!!!so glad to see everyone again!!!ilove the sops...whee! sopsies rock! was late for choir la cos went running(finally!) with green girl and foobymooby boy! yeap. and then had BITCHY BREAKFAST. it was so like putting back whatever fats we burned off can. ate until like super bloated. then brisked walked back to sch to get our stuff in choir room and like on the way saw lots of scantily clad little kids and adults running some weird triathlon thingie. omg it was really ewwie. like super-plunging-below-sea-level kind of neckline ok. sick.states of undress are USUALLY frowned upon in most societies. tsk. and along the way we gossiped and bitched again. ok fine so the whole day was BITCHY RUN+BREAKFAST. rushed back to sch and then cabbed down. choir was fun! got so many high notes to reach. hehe. and after choir went yong tau foo and then bugis to walk arnd. OMG from fulin to the bustop right juitlian took us on this weird short cut thingie that takes you on the side of the canal thing on this narrow path that had like little plants growing at the edges. ok so it was like juilian in front, foobymooby then greengirl then me and woodenblock. so its like we were walking then in the middle i spotted this lizard scurrying across the narrow path and then i just screamed. then green girl and foobymooby and jl were like running but i couldn't cos the stupid lizard was lying in the middle of the path. i screamed at it again hoping it would go away. so guess what? the lizard decides to overturn and lie on its back. me and woodenblock were so disgusted that we screamed again. in the end we just decided to turn back and detour while the walked along the horrid drain.

omg time to watch brazil and france now!!!!! bye bye.

2006-06-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

today i experienced economies of scales while studying history!!!!! i managed to cover like 4 lectures!!!! oh my yay. yep and studying makes u hungry ok. seriously. i ate so much today. i ate every single flavour of the subway cookies and had two hot chocolates from starbucks. ok call me fat now!!!!! obviously i am in a very exhilarated mood now.( count the no. of exclamation marks!!!!) must be too much chocolate.

i love camping out at novena starbucks ok. its so nice and nice! yea its just a very nice place to study. oh and people watch and overhear wonderfully sordid conversations. ok whatever. oh and i spotted a cow today at starbucks!!!go figure. heh so cool to meet up and catch up with yr senior.chatted about lots of stuff for like one and a half hour. lalala stupid midyrs are like the day after tomorrow*screams and dies* so can't wait for it to be over....

yes and i'll be yr tour guide! :)

2006-06-23T14:56:00.000+08:00

i am currently taking a breather from the horrid world of market structure and price discrimination. econs sucks!!!! oh and did i say history sucks even more!!!!! i haven't started on anything historical yet ok. i am so so so so so dead. sigh. studying at home is like super unproductive. not to mention in school too. yesterday was a total failure. ended up going through only two econs lectures with half a brain( the other half was too intoxicated with talking and talking to my wonderful classmates who have just returned from uk.) yep so i'm gonig thru them again today and guess what i'm only at the conduct of markets. sheesh. just can't wait for midyrs to be over can.

bah.mugging sucks.

oh btw did i mention my new ambition( in case i dont get into law). I"M GOING TO BE A TABLIOD WRITER(aka gossip columnist)how cool is that!

sigh.its time to hit the notes.

2006-06-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

sigh sigh. stupid holidays r like going to be over in like 96 hours. i am officially dead cos i havent started on history. this sucks big time. was supposed to go study with aaron today but that stupid lazy lizard was too lazy to get out from his den. can u believe it. instead i studied by myself can. poor me freezing my ass off in coffee bean. ok fine whatever. so after mugging ecnos for like 3 plus hours i decided to drag the lazy thing out.

now i can't sleep cos i'm too ful from steaboatl. oh well mugging awaits me tml in sch! yep yep good bye lovely ardent readers!

yesterday today and tomorrow, none of these matter anymore.

2006-06-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

holidays officially suck. i haven't been studying at all. its been two long weeks and all i have done is like 3 chapters of math. sigh i wish i had the mental strength to just really sit down and focus on my work. but i really can't find this energy. like i can just sit in my study room and then blank out for the entire day just stoning, walking around the house and consuming whatever morsels of food i can find from the fridge or other parts of the house.

here's a great example of my super horrifyingly low productivity rate. i ended chinese lesson at 11 today and then i spent the next 4 hours completing a half-done-super-way-over-the-deadline lit essay in school. thanks a lot. there you have it, incriminating evidence of my stupid stupid procrastinating and unfocussed mind. yup after that went to parkway alone because i was feeling bored and i just felt like looking at things. ended up buying presents for people for like no apparent reason.oh well but don't u think its so nice to be able to make someone smile! :)

sigh ok actually i know the reason why i am in such a depressed state of mind today. its because i haven't had a decent meal in a whole day. seriously. and this world is messed up.ok i think that was a random fact.

ok fine time to start on wilfred owen's war poems!

2006-05-26T08:39:00.000+08:00

yes today is the last day of school!!!!haha and i didn't go cos its gonna be full day anyway. smart me! yes anyway watched xmen yesterday.omg its damn cool! storm rocks ok. i wish i could be like storm or sumthing and control weather so we NEVER need to take pe lessons ever again. or maybe jean gray, can read people's minds and find out all the gossip! oh ok wadeva. i m just crazy and super high now cos i m going out shopping later! roar! wahahaha. yep and watching majestia too.

yes and sops jts on saturday!!!so broke. i forsee a future dip in my fortunes.sob. ya and then after that i am going to watch pride and prejudice with my parents. yep but these r just nice precursors to the evilevil shitshit horrid and revoltingly nasty holidays! cos everyone has to mug. i hate mugging ergh. stupid i wanna go out everyday! crap la. and another thing i m so uber behind in my math too. i can just die.oh and there's like multitudes of tuition!woe betide me! goodbye evil world. after hr congress on tues,mugging officially begins.

sigh.save me.

and special moments is stuck in my head.yup and it made me think about a lot of things. i love you guys! byebye. tis time for my daily ablutions before i hit town! lalalalala~whee.

2006-05-20T06:17:00.000+08:00

heyhey. its yet another early-in-the-morning post.haha yes. later got choir at siglap!i can't wait to go. i m suffering from post-sov blues and miss all the sops! yes i do. lalalalala. ok anyway went down to support a match of a certain sport yesterday at a mysterious unchartered location in singapore. the most fabulous school versus ahemahem school that resides in the part of singapore where i live. i m writing this in secret code cos i don't want to get sued. anyway no.4 from a certain team was so bunged up and butched up. seriously. if she didn't shave her armpit hair IT 'd be banned from court cos one look u would've tot she was a guy. anyway it was totally violent and played damn dirty. like so dirty its like all the pollution in the world taken exponentially.oops and certain people should grow eyes too seriously. can't even see who cheated and played rough. damn u bitch! i seriously screamed my entire lungs out ok. i actually felt exhausted and people around me were like in a state of semi-deafness. freak u idiots. anyway the girls of THE MOST FABULOUS SCH put up a damn good fight.yes and i'm so proud of u guys.THE MOST FABULOUS SCHOOL ROCKS! urgh and pls remember 4 is for WHORE(yes it rhymes.take that bitch!)

2006-05-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

i love vjchoir!!!!!every single one of you!!!! no is an island. woohoo. yea we rock!

omg sov was so damn good la. the music was just so beautiful.it was just so intoxicating. during binnamma i think so many of us were so transfixed by the music that we just kept staring at mr kwei when he was conducting. its not just visual but its more of mental la. its like many of us were so afraid that we will look at him and forget our moves la. (nicholas forgot.haha)yep confite and binamma was just mind blowing!!! yay! oh and mr kwei actually nodded and said good when we finished ad dominum.haha damn happy. during noman i just felt like crying. its like so emotionally charged la. so many generations of victorians on stage, all bounded by their love and passion for choir and singing.suddenly i just wish all of us could just relive the italy and sov moments again. i miss the sops!!!and now its like i miss choir already.i just want to sing and sing forever.lalalalala. ok i'm mad. and i m so happy that we sang pamugun. so sad, i screamed for the last time yesterday.

on another note, thank you everyone who gave me their little cards and presents! love you guys lots. big hugs to everysingle sop yr2, jamie&yvonne,jiejun,lydia&elroy,06A13!

vjchoir.nomanisanisland

2006-05-10T02:16:00.000+08:00

screams! its 2am now and i really can't sleep. stupid la. came back super tired and then finished the gp application question haphazardly and then just went to sleep. ok so i slept at 10 plus and then the fantabulous thing is i wake up feeling totally wide awake at 1247! oh my how am i going to get enough sleep! i am turning nocturnal i swear. but the funny thing is i won't feel sleepy at all tml. weird huh. haha maybe cos i'm too troubled to sleep):

sov practices r really hectic now! but hey i'm not complaining cos i want us to do well! finally finished learning the choreo yesterday. had lots of fun laughing and imagining all the spastic moves with peri en and spying on couples dancing lol. madness. oh and to those people who haven't bought sov tickets...shame on you! go buy now. and i mean now. turn off yr com this instant and rush down to the nearest sistic outlet. do that and i swear i will love you to bits! buy more ok? and ask all yr frens to come too.

and i have no life now cos i just got shoved a stupid shitload of essays. lit alone got 2. plus have to do lit presentation. chinese compo. neverending math tutorials...and the list goes on. rawr. i have no time to go out!sigh never mind.

sometimes we can't find words to express our feelings, especially to those we love the best.

2006-05-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

today had me thinking a great deal about everything. about my life, frens and everything.

sometimes i wish i could just stop growing up. i want to go back to secondary sch. at least i felt safe, ensconsed in the familiarity of my old classmates, all my choir frens, my teachers. jc life is just so fast paced and super traumatising. its like watching a fast forwarded film with all the loud jumbled up noises. i don't know what will be at the end of these two years. suddenly i'm wondering whether it was worth it to come to vj in the first place. i want time to turn back. i want the past.

suddenly i'm in 4-7 again. i remember painting the tiles as a class. i remember bitching and "abusing" et in class with rayston.i remember the bridging sessions. i remember the boring chem lessons. the absolute dreary physics lessons. the ever lame assembly programmes. i remember the walk down 5 storeys to the canteen. i remember the feeling of walking down the long snaking corridors again. i remember what it was like to wear green shorts.

choir. i remember the frenships formed, broken, lost and found again. my bestest frens in my whole life. people whom i know i can depend upon.altho we barely even talk now...i want u guys to know that i have not forgotten any of you. you have made it 4 happy years for me. i know i can depend on u.i remember prague.that magical moment.i remember the seemingly endless and tiring practices, the effort put in, the tears shed. i hope one day cat high choir can relive that glory.my juniors if u ever read this.make my wish come true. i remember too how we used to go out after choir in groups, to watch movies and eat.i remember that day we bid farewell at the last esplanade concert, the last tears shed before the final curtain call. the last song. the last song as cat high choir.that night i talked to you till three. i will never forget.you,my best friend.for all those specialmoments. those times that we recall.

today i rush out for pw meeting. voice lesson cancelled.next sov shopping with peien and jo.this is my busy life now. i have lots to do.study for test, catch up on all the math tutorials and reading.

today too, i sat in an ice cream parlour. with my best frens again. friendships are rebuilt.

on the way home, you ask me why vj has no pool. i didn't know what to say. but i know what it meant. i'm afraid. i'm scared. i want u to be my best fren through every stage of my life. pls try. for my sake pls. don't let our friendship die. i'm afriad that one day when i call you, you'll be busy with yr other friends. water polo? why not choir? has the passion died.will we see each other less and less? i don't know really. i want to be able to talk to you everyday like last time.haha. i dont know if you even read this. u mean the world to me.really.

friendsforever. <3

2006-04-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

hello! i m finally back from the land of pasta and gelato! its so depressing suddenly to be thrust back into harsh and oh-so-cruel reality of school life and stupid heaps and mountains of homework!its like day 6 now since italy and i miss italy already! and i m suffering from gelato withdrawal syndroms.( i ate 6 scoops a day mind you) haha ok so now i have a small paunchy gelato belly. i so need to go and run or something! i missed everyone lots, like a13, and xy and lizzygian. i bought so many things but sadly the nicest stuff that i bought for xy and lizzygian from soapvillage r lik totally lost! lik not in my luggage!gasps omg....so heart pain cans! the soap was like so super nice la its hand made and omg just so nice la! i wan to slap myself for forgetting. gosh i m turning into a klutzy ditz. ok wadeva...and all of u readers of this blog pls go for vjchoir's annual concert symphony of voices 2006 16th may esplanade. oh and we won grand prize,audience prize,category winner and double golds!!!yippee!

i cant wait for sov! yay got choir this sat! finally can sing again!!!! lalalalalala~~~ gosh i m mad.

italy.
vjchoir.
grandprize.
audienceprize.
sops.
nomanisanisland.

i luv VJCHOIR

2006-04-04T21:05:00.000+08:00

yayness! i am going to italy on thursday!!!!!! screams!!!!! i can feast on gelato and italian food!!!!!! byebye world! i'll miss all of u assholics and xy and aaron and bryan(if u all even read this). ok and i shall get something for all of u ok! pls do pray for me and pary that i lose the uncanny-yet-kennyish habit to lose my voice before uberuber crucial competitions! ok i love you guys a lot! bye i shall go and pack now.

ilovevjchoir!
werockandwewantthegrandprize.
nomanisanisland:)
choir=mylife
iloveSOPSIES
iloveA13
iloveXYandLizzygian

missing all of u lots......

2006-03-19T04:37:00.000+08:00

ok somehow this turns out to be another sleepless night again. so this is gonna be another 4am post. actually time now is 4.35am lol. ok yesterday choir was really really bad for me! gosh omg i made nelson so angry because i was hesitant to come in.sigh omg i feel so sad like i've let everyone down! its like everyone was singing so intensely and like the whole build up to the climax was there and like so damn happening. AND THEN I WAS TOO SCARED TO COME IN WITH THE BLOODY SCREAM. urgh. if i had a gun i would have just shot myself. i'm really really sorry. sigh i dunno what's wrong with me la but then yesterday my stupid voice just wouldn't warm up.oh crap la. i should just seriously go and die now and i am majorly pissed off with myself. someone just slap me.

urgh.

ok anyway so after feeling like a complete moron/fool/idiot after choir, went to eat katong laksa with genrong jolencia and rachel. and then later genrong was so nice haha he accompanied me on the super long bus ride to harbourfront cos i was going sentosa for class outing. ya and we talked about lots and lots of stuff on the bus. its been quite a while since i had such a nice convo with someone haha. ok anyways so the class outing was basically a blast. like so super fun. omg we should organise it like regularly. at least it helps me to snap out of depression for a little while. ok so we had lots of assholic fun playing vball and taking crazy photos and stuff! and then after that we headed over to suntec carl's jr for dinner. carl's jr is like THE place for class dinners! we ALWAYS go there la. and then we played some funny game something like truth or dare la wih alcoholic drinks and tomato juice(EWW. like to the max) and then later went to starbucks for sinful indulgence in green tea frapp. and then talked and talked with ricey and onelin again. haha n reached home at 11. so super tired now cans!

2006-03-18T03:53:00.000+08:00

alright. i haven't had the time to blog in quite a while. haha. ok so i shall like do it now ( at 4 am) since i m currently a depressed and hopeless imsomniac. i can't sleep!!!! omg later still have choir and class outing. urgh dunno if i can survive the day.

ok basically life sucks now for me. i just don't really feel happy in jc. as in yeah u may see me smiling and laughing and stuff but then inside i'm just not happy. maybe this is just a transcient stage that i will soon grow out of. sigh dunno la. my schoolwork is in a whole disastrous whirligigacious mess! lots of undone stuff and stupidstupid chinese homeworks which r waywayway past their due date. oh and not forgeting the need to catch up on horrid mind boggling econs and maths lectures. bleargh. i hope after italy, i'll be able to get things more settled la.

and another things that's bothering me is this whole thing abt frens. ya i was kinda super depressed over the whole tragic story of 06A13, and i am still currently floating in the state of semi-depression here. ya but whats really gets me down is the fact that i feel that i'm drifting away from my old frens. cos we r in different schools and everything, and basically we all lead different lives now. so its kinda hard to expect things to be the same. i dont blame any of u. maybe i should just blame myself for not doing enough. but i just want to say one thing, no matter where the paths in life lead us, i'll always always remember all of u. and nothing can ever happen to change how much each of u mean to me. i dunno how but often i spent most of my waking hours wondering how all of u r doing and stuff, and yet i'm hesitant to pick up the phone to call cos i'm afraid i'll be rejected cos u r all too busy. ( and none of u might even be reading this) so instead of having someone to call and talk to everyday, i now spend most of my stupid life shuffling from school, choir and then home. its like my house is some kind of hotel where i only come home to eat and sleep. and i m basically MARRIED to choir. i'm not complaining or anything, but i really do love choir! oh and i want to watch so many movies but then everyone seems to be to busy or they're going out with their new frens now. sigh wadeva. maybe its time for me to let go of the past and look towards the future, but really, what the future holds is nothing compared to the past which holds my precious memories.

i would give anything just to experience the past. i know most people say its really silly living in the past, but i don't give a damn about most people. the only thing good abt my life now is my wonderful class and perhaps some of the people in choir.

to all my bestest friends: i miss all of u lots!

bring me back to the past.

2006-02-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

it has been ages since i blogged on my own blog. haha since the class blog came up i have been neglecting my own haha. anyway i changed class and i miss my class so much. all the wonderful memories i will keep with me forever. i think there is no better calss than 06A13. sigh. i dunno la but i m a person who lives in the past i guess...i dont move on easily and i really hope that fitting in with my new class will not be a difficult task for me. i dunno but i may seem like a very outspoken person, but to strangers i am really very shy. only my bestest frens get to see the other louder side of me. sigh . i think i shall stop here la. or else i will start to cry again if i think abt everything. everything abt my life now sucks. friends, school and life in general. its lik the people i love so much and used to talk to everyday r lik slowly but surely drifting away. sigh. ok tis time to study and mug now cos i have lots to catch up on science. goodbye bleak and cruel world.

2006-02-11T00:06:00.000+08:00

hello people. i got 6 points for my o levels. i m so happy that i did well and i can stay in vj! anyway its was like so nerve-wracking la today. in the morning rumours started flying arnd that our batch did badly this year. like so scary la. spent like almost the whole morning fretting and worrying. tried to watch a rented vcd but no mood cos the storyline was to duh and droney.ended up going downstairs to buy chocolate.but then buy liao come home no mood to eat also, so the poor bar of hersheys cookie and cream is rotting away on my study table currently. went to aarons hse at arnd noon to rot again cos i desperately needed to talk to work off the excess nervous energy.anyway the whole results thing in the hall was like very solemn everyone was lik so quiet cos they knew our results r lik crap. i was just more relieved rather than hapy when i saw my result slip. ok so after the thing me aaron xy rayston chihong and ced went to sakae and we gored ourselves silly on sushi. and the waiter was so sue me and bitchy la. he was lik so act big when hes only a trainee and he was like trying to educate me on a difference between a dumpling and icecream. quotes dumb waiter:' a dumpling is a dumpling and ice cream is ice cream." omg! lik so spas can. anyway we were totally evil and squashed and compressed the unfinished rice in between plates haha. the stupid bill was like 99.90 gosh so now i m darn broke. ya and later went toaarons hse to play bridge and hang out. ok its rather late. tml still got choir so i guess i shld sleep soon. oh and thanks for all the congratulatory messages.

i really hope 06A13 stays together. yaya sisterhood.

2006-02-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

omg tml is like judgement day! its the release of o level results. like so omg la! i m so freakin out and panicking can. die la. i hope i get good nice points which is lik 6.i just cannot accept anything other than a six. if i get anything else i will just cry loads and buckets in extreme copious amounts exponentially i tell u. i promise i will. anyway i m so sad that 06A13 is spliting up. its like so the total coolest class la! we are so HC lor.(lik DUH!) ok anyway i just wanna say that i will miss all my crazy nutty dotty and simply schizo classmates like vera, sizzling hot stuff, minli, zhaoey and maybeline, car-lean, cheryl(bimbo) , mel and shu hua and others whom i may have inadvertently left out. ok so mad. today we spent lik 5 periods in the 3 house gossiping/taking photos and acting spastic la. for example, maybeline screaming at a puddle of water and vera acting lik a super aunty house wife in some window cleaner advert can! lik so spastic and absolutely psycho la. anyway to reiterate my point 06A13 just rawks la. love the people, love the treehouse and love the wacky moments. i hope everyone i know gets their desired results!!! oh and thanks to weiling too for that very beautiful crane chain thingie. k i feel so nervous and crappy now, lik came home early today after lunching wif xy and ponning chinese, and ended spending the whole afternoon talking to xy and lazing around on the bed. my chinese is like so cmi la now. lik how many months havent touched chinese le. and sch just bores the hell out of me. urgh. ok its time for me to catch up on lost sleep. good night!

2006-02-02T19:23:00.000+08:00

hi ervyone!omg cny is over and i m back in school again! its so fun la with choir and my class.anyway yesterday was cross country. my placing is 380...nt bad rite.lol bryan got 322 so hateful, and he won jumbo voucher!!!i dont care bryan...u r going to use that splendid voucher for a totally worthy cause, lik treating kenny to a wonderful dinner at jumbo seafood! lol haha. anyway we both achieved our goal of sueing jlo for cross country. the stupid slut run until so slow oopsie...having cramps i guess. take that b1tch!anyway we both sued him so terribly omg u shld have seen the look on his fugly face. PRICELESS! ok anyway today was rather eventful. spent my break in the treehouse with my jie and her gang of scgs girls plus zhaoey. they r so mad la we were talking and laughing about*claps and points to those thighs* haha. so funny! anyway there is a diff between bitching and commenting. i love commmenting!lols and whatever scandalous stuff u hear when u talk to me....U DIDNT HEAR IT FROM ME...hmmm oops. and anyway i comment for a good couse of fun and laughter. no harm meant k. its not evil bitching like backstabbing and lying and stuff. and i m so officially sick of eating chicken rice in vj i think i shall switch my staple to ba chor mee or sumthing. oh and tml going out with xy tze and aaron. so looking forward to it!

THIGHS!*claps and points to thighs*

2006-01-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

happy lunar new year! yay! omg can get red packets and eat eat eat. piggy me. anyway i din blog for such a long time because i was sick for the most of last week. had evil cough flu and fever and 4 days mc. urgh.i think i m lik some super infector or sumthing. now poor roy and algene have both caught my bug. poor thing. i m so sorry! get well soon! oh and thanks to my classmates and frens for all the get-well-soons! now i m well i can officially and openly feast on pineapple tarts and bak kwa.(i stole some to eat when i was sick btw.haha) ok anyway after my sickness i went back to sch on fri for cny celebration. it was quite nice la. but the indian dance a bit wrong and out of place lor. hello!~ its not deepavali. ok anyway the dance was super hilarious. and halfway thru the performance bryan started msging me abt a scandalous wushu person on stage plus THE EGG too! she was so eggy i could even sense her egginess even from the back. anyway after that we went back to cathigh and the vj people were so mad and cheering. vj rocks!!! yeah! ok anyway u know something...i love vj! ya omg and then me and bryan decided to go crazy and we showed aaron how to do whineywhiney at his house. oh btw bryan was very nice he actually got SWENsens and THE EGG presents, but SWENsens dun wan and THE EGG is undeserving. so he gave me the eeyore plushie and aaron the tigger one for our birthdays(tho mine is lik so eons ago) thanks a lot bryan! i love eeyore its soo super cute. anyway i was carrying it arnd the whole day shopping and even on the train. ok lol i know i m mad. anyway after the celebration in cat high i went out with tze xy and zhiyang to xy's hse and then we went for lunch. and then we went to orchard to shop.omg so tiring la and so crowded! i dun lik crowded places. reached home at around 8 plus i think then i started writing letter to my wonderful angel from my senior class. lol. ok anyways yesterday fter choir, i went to tampines mall again with xy and tze to have our own reunion lunch/movie outing. i not stupid 2 is soo touching la. very emotional, plus i think many of the scenes r very real as in quite likely to happen in real life. esp the part abt parents scolding u for wasting money buying presents. ok anyway so after the movie tze heng rushed to buy his second pair of new year shoes!!!!so envious! i dun hav new shoes cos lik i bought super early last year and i couldnt resist the temptation of new shoes so i already wore it. its lik new and not exactly new la. and then xy went to buy cakes for his grandma( so sweet!) ok anyway we took train home and xy got off earlier to go to his grandma hse and tze accompanied me back to bishan! and then i went over to my aunts hse for reunion dinner and we had tang yuan later. i love tang yuan btw cos its so chewy. after then returned home with mum to do last minute spring cleaning like omg...i have never seen so much dust dirt and grime in my entire life. EWWW! yups and now house is spick and span. ok i gtg le. mum is nagging for me to go out liao. good bye!

2006-01-21T06:03:00.000+08:00

hi peeps! i m like so freakin bored now cos i cant sleep. my stupid boilogical alarm clock is so like tuned to waking me up at 5 in the morning. i checked my phone when i woke up it was lik 5.02?! and i just slacked and lazed in bed till like 5.46 la! (the time now is 6.05 btw) and i m just so waiting in baited breath for choir to start so that i can leave the house.lol. anyway learnt the whole of pamugun yesterday.it was quite manageable la. but only 5 people turned up for sectionals. oh and today all sops have to audition for screaming! so fun! ok anyway watched memoirs of a geisha yesterday with roy xy tze heng zhiyang. then it was so uber-coincidental and with some divine twist of fate(those that u find in movies), i met my sister who was gonna watch inher shoes, and my cousin who also watched the same movie, and its like his seats were rite beside ours! ok anyway geisha is a really nice movie with philosophical messages. it it like some rag to riches kind of thing for the chiro/sayuri girl, and i think her love is very noble, as she is willing to sacrifice herself for the man she loves. and the movie also like touches on the ugly side of human nature and the propensity of hate deceit jealousy and betrayal that humans can harbour. anyway i really lke the dancing part with the spnning fan and fan tossing thingie. quite cool to see sumone do that in real life. oh and vj has really crazy gp teachers! its lik we watched russel peters for one period. i dun think its very funny la but the girls found it hilarious la. omg and pe, whoever his name is, is quite nutty dotty and a bit schizo. he keeps repeating the lamest jokes ever every week without fail, and he is abt the most randomest guy u can ever talk to. suddenly in the middle of evil 4.8 run, he will just tell u abt unheathy food lik macs and stuff, and then say that it causes u to pubertize early(i.e go thru puberty lik at 6) he said some girl in us ate to much macs and had her first period at 6. so eww like omg. overgrown baby! its so gross its lik looking at a baby with breasts or sumthing. and dont u think hes so random?! i was lik...hello!so? why r u telling me this?! its not lik i consume macs everyday! i mean cmon la who does. the last time i stepped into macs was lik dunno when la! oh but i have a certain gastronomical weakness and innate desire for mos burger fish burger and french fries. its lik the only kind of fast food worth gaining a few kilos for. so ultimately delectable and scrumtiously yummilicious, but then nobody seems to like it cos its too ex. anyway took height and weight and i m like totally plus-sized! must diet again!anyway i shall not reveal my weight to the whole world wide web, lest u people start pointing and laughing at my blubberous tummy fat.ok...i think i went very off topic. i was supposed to talk about psychotic teachers. ya and maths rite we got some absolutely chatty maths teacher who is quite lame and has a crazy sense of humour. and talks like quite animatedly.and for math tutorials we got some freakish nerd who is so nerdy he his hair is like some wig? oh and of course history we have my SSSSSSSOOOO wonderful miss et who is absolutely and completely warped! she is so evil and beechee. gosh. its lik shes such a (*insert evil word here*). i dun think i should say much abt her la cos vj teachers r quite itsavvy. later she stalk down my blog i die! but who cares... oh and my gp teacher is soooo nice too. this time in a nice way. can u believe it, she came in and started bitching abt american idol. shes so evil and totally nice in her comments towards the idol contestants. but i love her way of bitching!
okies its time to go bathe and get ready to go to sch for choir le! goodbye trolley people!

2006-01-17T19:22:00.000+08:00

omg i totally hate history la. its sooo ultimately boring. i just slept when the documentary on the cold war was showed halfway. so boring la can u imagine, the horrid black and white pictures with droning narration. omg it was like total lullaby la.zzz. anyway the history tutor is quite nice(altho some of us evil ones agree she lokos a tad bit like a man! oh my!) she allows us to skip one tutorial a semester FOR NO VALID REASON AT ALL. omg how cool is dat?! a free permit to pon one history tutorial omg so nice. speaking abt ponning lessons, i just did that so many times today. morning we skipped eviledna's ct session cos it was lik so stifling to sit there in front of her la. she is like so warped. ya and we went to the cyclethon there to cycle for lynx. LYNX ROCKS( and we are VERY shameless). then i also pon chinese tutorial la. so bad. me and vera went to explore parkway. it was like again another total scandal sharing session!!! this time it was on a total massive and gargantuan scale. omg i din know tkgs was so so salaciously wrought with hideous SCANDAL! so beyond the limits of promiscuity! we walked arnd parkway and went to gift shops like kalms and ig's heaven to look at all the really cool stuff. then vera bought a quiche and i bought milk tea then we headed back for our dreaded pe lesson. luckily it rained lor just b4 pe, thank the heavens!!! its lik we were totally saved from the scourge of malicious evil sadistic pe teachers who make u run becoz they accuse u of being out of shape and in need of conditioning. ended up doing some weird stretching exercises in the hall. after that went to clear up cny banner and then went home with vera and mabeline, and we talked and talked abt horror movies and lotsa other stuff. oh ya and lit lesson today was so cool la. i love mr ng foreva. he let us go out in the sch and write a poem abt anything. me(half green), mabeline, ming li and the green people(tkgs girls) went to the tree houses. ended up stoning.lol. luckily mabeline help me cover....say that we co-wrote the poem. i din hav the time or the inspiration to come up with a poem lor. thanks to mabeline for saving my skin! oh and i saw marie during break and i dragged her along to do blood test for diabetes. my sugar level was lik 5.7, lik much higher than all the other people that i compare with lor,hmmm...must be cos i m so sweet and nice lol. haha crappy me! i cant wait to watch memoirs with xy and tze heng soon! miss them so much lol. i love my best frens!

*~:.:Castle on a Cloud™:.:~*

goodbye to you.

~:.:Castle on a Cloud™:.:~